Not suicide related
This year I would like to die. I wish I actually could. But, yeah that’s not going to happen (commitments).
I do not enjoy life in any way and I am beyond tired of pretending that I enjoy it. I also believe I’m bound to be miserable, partially due to all my faults and also the state of the world.
My mum is the only thing I really live for now. Even though I’m a terrible daughter. But my life is over. I’m existing. I just wanted one last snuggle from my ex, but due to the pandemic yeah I never see that happening again.
That hurts so bad…
I have little desire to try to socialise with anyone. I’ve talked to my neighbour rather briefly. But I don’t get along with anyone anyway, and I’m sure he spends his time laughing at how stupid I must look (how I compose myself).
I truly wish I had never been born. I don’t want to be here!!!!
(I think I’ve made up my mind….)