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Miserable existence

by Wisp

Not suicide related

This year I would like to die. I wish I actually could. But, yeah that’s not going to happen (commitments).

I do not enjoy life in any way and I am beyond tired of pretending that I enjoy it. I also believe I’m bound to be miserable, partially due to all my faults and also the state of the world.

My mum is the only thing I really live for now. Even though I’m a terrible daughter. But my life is over. I’m existing. I just wanted one last snuggle from my ex, but due to the pandemic yeah I never see that happening again.
That hurts so bad…

I have little desire to try to socialise with anyone. I’ve talked to my neighbour rather briefly. But I don’t get along with anyone anyway, and I’m sure he spends his time laughing at how stupid I must look (how I compose myself).

I truly wish I had never been born. I don’t want to be here!!!!
(I think I’ve made up my mind….)

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2 comments

Almostdeadguy123 2/18/2021 - 11:40 am

I’ve been feeling a similar feeling due to this quarantine, I hope it gets better for you even if it seems impossible. I hope you are able to find the light of life that some of us unfortunately are not able to see right now.

Mf 2/18/2021 - 9:51 pm

I mean, if you keep on going because of your mother i don’t know if you could be qualified as a terrible daughter. It takes loads of power will to carry on for someone, specially if you’ve lost enjoyment in life. Sadly… yup, things seem difficult from here on, the world is really screwed up right now and there’s not much that can be done about it, other than waiting it out until it “sort of” goes back on track. As for your neighbor… nah, pretty sure he could be thinking “my neighbor must think i’m weird” right now, most people have quirks that they’re highly conscious about, yet the rest barely notices.

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