It’s over now and it seems like a nightmare I lost myself the first time and now I am losing hope. I have no interest in dating anymore.. I give up on the dream this time for good, I am tired of starting over and trying to do everything right and still having the same result. I spent 6 years working on loving myself and seeing myself as an amazing person who is worthy. And here I am newly single feeling crazy like I invented that I deserved love and was worthy. If these men who claimed to love me and care for me don’t think I’m worthy how can I possibly claim I am?! They weren’t good men for me and yet they become these great men for someone else. I didn’t need this, I had enough pain in my life. I am so fragile right now and this break up is stupid but I’m broken and it’s crushing me. I have been reliving a trauma EVERY day for 2 years! When I try to talk about my trauma it scares people away. When I ask for help no one seems to hear me. When I cry it’s like I’m not seen or my tears and pain mean nothing. I don’t even have myself right now because I have given up. I have no friends anymore and I have no one in my life to talk to so I wanted to seek a therapist. But their hours of operation are the hours I work. So I live my life in anguish, lost and helpless hoping that I can just die already.