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coping mechanism

by system

one of my biggest coping mechanisms is songwriting, so I thought I might share something I’m working on.  it can be read like poetry I guess,  it communicates a lot of the feelings I have about my recent abuser.  even though its in present tense, the song is referring to past events.  im no longer in contact with my abuser and am on complete social lockdown.

verse a
euphoria
it’s so possesing
can’t stop myself
from obsessing
you hold me close
just to bruise me
why is your love
so confusing

pre-chorus
i’m supposed to feel safe here
but everything’s so cold
you get me so high but
you push me down so low

chorus
you’re heroin
and i wanna get sober
you plague my mind
after the rush is over
like little needles in my veins
my blood burns and my skin stings

4 comments
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4 comments

Once 2/17/2021 - 12:53 am

“you get me so high but
you push me down so low”

This line resonates with me. Strange how we’re drawn to what damages us.

system 2/17/2021 - 1:01 am

it really is. it’s referring to how the lower someone puts you, the higher they can get you and that’s why the abuse is almost addictive even though it destroys you.

Jhecev 2/17/2021 - 2:00 pm

I got tons of songs
Hope you record them somehow

I like you cause you got your flaws
And You’re not perfect at all
Don’t take this the wrong way I’m just saying
that you’ll never have it all
But what you got is all I need
Nothing more would make me happy
Don’t you worry if you fall
Youll get back up to your awe

You’ll find your way back home
I always know the way to go
I’ll find my way back home
You always know the way to go

I waked this earth and got real hurt
My scars were deep I lied in the dirt
I can’t hide it for too long
Who I am is in this song
All I know is I’ll be alright
I feel so strong and I think I’m right
I’m not gonna worry if I fall
I’ll get back up got problems to solve

I’ll find my way back home
You always know the way to go
You’ll find your way back home
I always know the way to go

I like you cause you got your flaws
And You’re not perfect at all
Don’t take this the wrong way I’m just saying
that you’ll never have it all
But what you got is all I need
Nothing more would make me happy
What I got is all I need
Nothing more will make me happy

Mf 2/17/2021 - 5:53 pm

You should record those somehow, music is really therapeutic and helps you express what you otherwise wouldn’t (i think one of the few reasons that keeps me going is music).

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