Not suicide related
I only go outside with my mum now. I’d rather be at home when I can, safe from this judgmental world. You can’t do a single thing without being judged these days. Studying sucks. I can’t even get in a group for a role play, yeah this is online, I should check my messages more often… someone replied to me on Wednesday and then I replied back, and now… nothing. I am barely motivated to even continue studying. I can’t do this anymore. Being an adult is far too difficult and it’s really not something I can do. Always worrying about one thing or another, trying to plan when you’d rather just sleeeeeeeep forever.
I have no interests, nothing, I bought some art supplies, used them a couple of times and they sit collecting dust.
I can’t be bothered to be super polite and nice, that just seems fake to be anyway. I can’t be an adult. I really really really really truly cannot do it. I really believe I’m done. I’ve been saying this more lately. Life isn’t for me, and that’s that!!!
My ex told me a little while before we stopped talking ‘no wonder you want to die, you have no goals’. Luckily for him, hopefully we won’t talk again and he can find people more suited and relatable.
I’m so sick of everything! Dying is hard and I can’t leave my mum behind. I can’t handle it!