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Waiting to die…

by Wisp

Just waiting to die, although I’d want to go this year or the next.
I’ve pretty much destroyed my interactions with my ex, we haven’t talked for weeks. I figure he’s gone and told his mum how ‘bad’ I am, well yes I am a bad person, so I shouldn’t be here anyway, so it doesn’t give me the chance to be bad ever again.
I was awfully tired of him not really admitting his own faults anyway, just resulted in him getting angry or sweeping it under the carpet. So in a sense he would be playing the victim, because it would allow him to make me look as bad as possible while making himself look like a saint.
I wish I hadn’t screwed this up, I feel like we became too different, but also, I knew I was never going to see him again, at least anytime sooooooon, so my impatience got the better of me. That’s not even his fault, but yeah, my own.

All I really have is nightmare after nightmare lately, I stay at home as much as I can get away with, I dislike people so much, and being in a small town, I think it just makes me despise them even more. I don’t like encountering the same people every day. I almost feel that I *need* to stay at home as much as possible, everyone just irritates me.
This, of course makes me get disliked in turn, but I don’t care about being ‘liked’.

Again, sorry to my mum… :\

I’m tired of being endlessly miserable, I want to go…

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