On a positive note, I’m doing pretty good. I’ve managed to start sleeping better without pills. I’ve got more on my hands, and that’s keeping me busy, and my mind off rumination and despair and whatnot. I’ve taken on a new project at work, voluntarily, which is a first. I’m making a lot of efforts to keep myself from slipping, and the better they work, the better I feel about myself.
My medication has worn off almost completely. The initial period was the worst I’ve felt in a long time. But things seem to be picking up again these past two days. I’ve found it harder to function without, but every time I want to go back, I remind myself of why I stopped, and that’s working for now. I’m pretty tired in general. Sleepy. I’ve rediscovered an old part of me the meds were masking, and that’s made me feel like myself again. This brief respite I had from myself has served me well. It keeps me sane. Because I know that it’s possible to feel that ok again. And that’s what keeps me going with all these efforts to do better. The knowledge that there is a way out.
I’ve found a new dynamic with the closest person in my life. It’s better than the one we had before. At least for me.
I’ve found that I look forward to working on my new project every day. It’s a really refreshing way to feel. Like I’m the old me again.
I’m going to keep trying to feel better. I’m glad that I feel good today, and I hope it’ll be the same tomorrow.