1. I repeat the same mistakes over and over
2. I torture myself inside my own head and can’t seem to stop
3. Parts of me don’t want to get better. Suicide fascinates me, and I’d love to die that way.
4. The down days are far too painful.
5. The up days feel grey, bland, and anhedonic. Every up day is a day I try to convince myself in my head that things aren’t so bad, that it’s enough to keep going. But it’s not enough.