(This isnt directed at anyone on SP. This is my last post. Thought Id share my note. Goodbye everyone)
To my family,
I havent had a will of my own in a very long time. When Dad used to go crazy and throw tantrums, we all did whatever he said, because we were afraid of him. I lost my own will, my own person during that time. Psychological rape. And now, even without tantrums being thrown, im prone to doing whatever people suggest because i seem to have gotten stuck that way.
Im already dead. Dead-alive. I have no will or personality of my own. Im empty inside, and frustrated. Frustrated that too many people want to direct my life. Frustrated that too many people take advantage of my emptiness. Frustrated that I live in a world where I cant just simply “be”. “Dont join the marines”. “Go to this college”. And i fucking listened, even though i didnt want any of it! And when I quit, you all wonder why. So stupid.
I love you, but fuck you. Fuck you all. This is my last. And this time, im doing things my way.