if i could just casually say that i am going to kill myself and nobody would take it seriously. and nobody would worry about me. and nobody would later seriously claim that they want to kill themselves too. and if i could half sarcastically sit with people on the ledge, just hoping that there was a way out of all the stupid situations that this world puts us into.
i think i may be living in a different world than you. but i just never seemed to have an opportunity to do these things.
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You could try reddit, they have subs where dark jokes are the norm. just a way for people to vent and express.
i was just writing what i was feeling, but your comment made me ask myself what do those things which i wrote mean exactly. it turns out that it’s a leftover from a time when my whole life seemed to start to completely slip out of my control. i don’t remember most of my life at all, and those memories are the ones which i would indeed want to forget, because i wished those things never happened to me.
but, this is actually a missing link in the chain of events that would led me to become the person i am today. i have the whole ariadne thread now and it’s very freeing to see my whole life for what it is, without assigning any of my actions to free will.
i don’t expect people to understand what i write. i am very bad at writing and i don’t even care about people understanding me. i just come here to whine when i’m at my lowest.