I hate being alive and ask every night to simply not awaken. My prayers are not answered to die. Growing very weary everyday that I have to wake to this bull crap. I want it to stop. But the one thing that haunts me is that I wont know the joy of the “stopping” if I’m dead. I hope and prey there is truly nothing when I die. Just off. I’m so ready and have given up. I just simply dont like this anymore. I dread everyday. I really wish there was a way to end my life. Just an off button.