Do what you want. Do what makes you happy.
Take these meds.
But these meds dont make me happy…
Logically I know but…
Is it really about what you want or what’s right?
It’s right to not cut. It’s right to not drink yourself into a stupor. It’s right to eat 3 meals a day. It’s right to not get high.
How can it be about what I want, about what makes me happy, when I have rules and guidelines to follow in life?
Dont get me wrong, I dont disagree with them. Its just following them, for me anyway, has taken away what I feel is myself. Not because I want to get high or drunk or whatever, but because you say I have an option and you only give me one choice. Its not that I dont want to take that choice, but because I feel like if i do, im just agreeing with what everyone else wants, which might not be what I want. And then the 2 wants get lost and twisted in a tornado of thoughts and… I dont know what I want anymore.