I don’t post on here, I usually just come and read. Lately I’ve been tired of myself. I’m full of it. The excuses, the tears, the words, just disgusted. I want to cut so bad, but I know there’s nothing sharp enough in the house. I’m ashamed to be myself. I read a post about not killing themselves but not fighting for life in a life or death situation. I felt that. I just want to be a better person and stop ruining my life. Every time I think I’m doing better, I flop. I have a poor work ethic, I’m becoming extremely lazy and fat, I’m not taking care of myself properly, and with all of that I just sit and cry about it. What makes this worst is I know how to get better I just don’t want to do it. Now I’m throwing a fit and going to call it depressed. I wish someone would kill me.