well, your writing is far from the worst/ugliest I’ve seen, so in the only aspect you appear from here, you’re fine. Struggling with self worth, and I get that, really. There is more out there than the one thing, though I know the monomania where it seems as though it doesn’t.

You use dumb in a way that concerns. It appears that is where you jump to whenever failure comes up. In the one explicit problem you listed, that could be faulty perception (a continuing known issue in humanity), or not making the impression intended.

Heck though, I’m just as in the dark about what to do as anyone. Normal people confuse me, but hurting people, I can relate.