I feel so needy. They say its fine. They say its not annoying them. They say they dont mind. But i cant shake it….. I wish id just shut the fuck up.
I feel like this disorder makes me stick out. I can be standing perfectly still in a crowd of people all dressed the same, and ill stick out.
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this is a rare thing, I really identify with that, and it’s BPD… though I have a few friends with personality disorders, and they say there is some bleed over. I don’t fit, all I ever wanted was to fade into the background, and I don’t know how.
It seems to me I have to get comfortable with being seen and known, or find a lucrative way to sponsor my escape.
After reading your post I looked up some articles about BPD. I can see where it would sure interfere with relationships and make it’s sufferer considerably uncomfortable. When I saw that all us have have a touch of it sometimes and thought back to many of the times when that touch of it was doing it’s stuff to me yeah that was not comfortable and sure made me uneasy, unsure, desperate, clingy, off putting. For what comfort this is, I read that BPD can’t be cured but symptoms can be eased. For the mess in my head I live with (complex trauma) I find again nobody has cured it but the symptoms are way less terrible after some treatment. Hope this helped even a little.
It’s the reason I’m here right now, reading posts… My friend just disappeared for 5 hours even though they said, they wouldn’t be long. I was looking forward on them having an off day of work. I can’t distract myself, it’s really terrible.