I come from a family of addicts, and have spent most of my life in those sort of environments. Yet, at 33 I’ve never been diagnosed with an addiction, though I’ve been diagnosed as many other things.
So, when my wife says; “I’m worried about your drinking.”, and my reaction; “me too, now you mention it.”
That’s trouble. I have no problem with substances so long as they are legal and within limitation. Yet within me, as I destroy and remake myself, there is a temptation towards unlimited hedonism. Which leads to several methods, none of which are remotely pleasant, though some are quite quick.
I haven’t had a drink in two days, and I don’t know how long it will be until I drink again. In my wife’s correct estimation; “Alcohol is for happy times, not sad times.” The happy times are distant memories, and the alcohol makes it easier to focus on them and not my pain.