Venting about school

theres nothing to do anymore, nothing is fun, im stressing over the exams that we will have and lots of shit that we will have to do and who knows maybe i wont get accepted to that highschool that i wanted to go to and ill have to ruin my high school experience and most likely life because of it. u dont know how much i suffer from anxiety everyday, no one understands me, it hurts, i cover my ears and try not to cry and freak out from loud people, im slowly losing myself. i keep snapping and having break downs, i was happy at some point but its all gone now, i managed to get depressed again and i even started developing an eating disorder but the day i felt like getting eaten inside i got traumatized and started eating again. i got no motivation, my mom keeps bitching about some school shit and its making things even worse. now i lost a loved one and now i feel like i have no where to go, i feel lost, i feel mentally lost, its even worse now than it was last time, i dont know what to do.