Growing up my stepdad had me working outside, my mother was braiding my hair. BPD on its own comes with identity issues, forget the parents wanting something but not getting it. sometimes i dont mind doing my hair or painting my nails. sometimes i want to go work on the car. im female but only when its brought to my attention. for the most part i dont think about it or care.
being both genders but neither kind of had this out of place feeling.
i dont care what other people think/know. i still go by she/her. its easier for others, what im use to and would prefer. he/him, eeeeh no. doesnt hit a homerun with me, it didnt even make it to first base. but i had someone call me sir by accident before and instead of correcting them, i was like “you dont know to check me out, awesome”. and if it matters to the person what i am, then they arent a friend. “im gay” or whatever, should be nothing more then info on the person, not something to make a judgment on.
so going through another bout of “who am i” i decided to go through an lgbt glossary of words, maybe ill find one that fits.
Gender Outlaw: A person who refuses to be defined by conventional definitions of male and female
so what if i do/like both but consider myself neither. and i hate this whole label thing anyway. gender outlaw seems to fit and i like it. i hope my bpd can stay on track with this one, i dont see why not but who fucking knows with bpd.