I’ve always struggled to talk about my paranoia, because it is a weak part of me, and I don’t like projecting weakness.
Nevertheless, this one thought has gotten too loud to ignore; I’m terrified of becoming a cult leader.
Here’s where I feel really strange, really out there. That’s not a normal fear at all. Yet, from an early age I’ve been fascinated by cult leaders and other powerfully charismatic leaders. It’s like a bank account that never runs out, interesting, but dangerous.
Everywhere you see one of these people, you will see the human suffering toll in their wake. I’ve been looking, and I am yet to find a charismatic leader without dark deeds done behind the scenes. So you’ve either got to self delude, or be a real scumbag to willingly become such a thing, right? Right?!
It’s getting tempting. I don’t know how it happens, but it feels like I’m being left with little other recourse.