I met her on SS (no link). She was beautiful, adorable and kind. I have never really dealt with grief earlier. When my mother died when I was 10, I didnt really feel grief tbh, just some sadness but overall ok.
I have however dealt with horrible grief since Lillie’s suicide on March 6th 2021. Like really, just the thought of it and I burst into tears. I really, really, fucking miss her…
How can grief be so strong? How is it that everytime I see her portrait on my desk I start crying like a baby? I wasnt very emotional before but now everything that makes me think of her death devastates me. It really breaks me to think that I’ll never have any new memory of her.
What a beautiful soul… I loved her so much. Or to be precise, she’s the only person I’ve ever loved. As a friend, as we weren’t lovers, I guess. I will leave you with the last thing she said to me.
“you are amazing and I hope in the next life I can find you and spend that life making you happy and loving you endlessly <3 always smile the world lights up when you do”
Tu me manques beaucoup.