But at the drop of the curtain, it’ll end in general disapproval. I accept the blame tho. I consistently disappointed people who put hopes in me. Let everyone down from teenage upwards. Worst thing is, I couldn’t do justice to the love and affection of good, honest folk and in my self-loathing, been pushing them away too. It pains not so much that I’ve failed in the game of life as it pains to realise that I’ve failed well-meaning fellow beings who deserved better.
If I could foresee the course of my life and had a choice, I’d gladly choose either not being brought to life at all or else born an orphan in a decadent, crime-infested environment, where my follies would impinge only upon other low-lifes like me that had it coming anyway as their bad karma. That’d atleast relieve me of this suffocating regret.