Idk how much longer i can hang on

My entire life has been pain, suffering, betrayel and abuse.
I been abandoned, beaten and broken.

I had regained hope for a little while, that it had all been for something. You where my bestfriend half my life. I belived you when you said you wanted to build a life with me. To have a family toghter.
Now im broken and alone again.
With the deepest cut i have ever had and i dont know how to make the pain stop.

All i wanted was to be loved, to be held. And by you? The tought made me strong.
But nothing you day anymore makes sence.
You have abandoned me like the rest only showing me affection when your in need.
Over what?

So i turned to the only thing that numbs me, so i wouldnt have to hurt. Crack.
My life has spiraled so far out of control.
I loved you.
Im living at a shelter while i work 2 jobs, just to take care of you.
I walk in the freezing cold, without proper gear.
I get humiliated by others for loving you.

But i cant help i love u.
I cant help how it hurts.

Im far from perfect, but you have left me when i needed you the most.

I want to die. I just want to die now.
Will you miss me?
No one else will
My life has been worthless.

Im trying to belive you, im trying to hang on.
But im slipping.

Please safe me, because i cant hang on much longer.

I dont wanna leave you like this….
But i cant hang on for the love of god save me my lioness