Since deciding my date, marking it in my diary, things have got easier. I guess I finally don’t care anymore. Giving things away, taking stuff to charity, not bothering to top things like more toothpaste or another bottle of ketchup because I won’t need it for much longer.
Seeing people before Christmas has also got easier to because I guess I know that when we say goodbye it actually is goodbye and I’ve got to say it but they don’t have to know what I really mean by it and they can go away content.
2 comments
Yeah setting a date does make it easier, I’ve been there before and for the last while have been thinking about setting another date, possibly January. This post shows me Im not alone, thanks!
It always gets easier after setting a date. Life is stressful, and that date is your only comfort. That’s when all your problems die. And a bunch of big problems die from the moment you set the date cos you don’t have to think abt anything further than that date. It’s cathartic in itself. But that’s just the thing. It’s your problems you want to kill. There’s always a condition in your head, a line in the sand that validates living or dying. ‘If I were born elsewhere’, or ‘if X were still alive’, or ‘if I wasn’t so miserable’. Maybe you can’t see that right now, there was a time I couldn’t either. Introspect and you’ll find it, your conditions for living, and your last straw for dying. And when you’ve given up, and your greatest worries look so little in retrospect, it’ll facilitate the realisation that you’re free. None of your problems mattered to begin with. All you have to do is wake up from ‘routine’ and change your circumstances. Move. Make a fresh start. Forget everyone in your life right now. You’ll feel different. Don’t give up before your options are exhausted.