i don’t know why i’m dreading going back to school, other than the fact I have a new roommate that i know nothing about. i can’t sleep, i can’t think, at least i haven’t given into my urge to cut all of break.
i feel like i’ve done nothing with my life. i’ve wasted all my time doing pointless shit and i’m not working towards anything because i’m just going to die anyways!!!
1 comment
I sense it’s your fear of the new person from what you wrote. New people can be overwhelming and especially if you have no say in who that person is. Honestly, I’d choose what I want my day to day to feel like living with them and just straight up tell them. Like, “I don’t want to be friends, just roommates, so let’s make house rules together right now and let it be”, or “I would like to be friends, but not buddies and here’s what that looks like…” In my 4.5 decades on earth I’ve learned that new people can easily become vampires and so if I tell them where they fit in my life they can’t hurt me. I’ve also learned that being “nice” and “quiet” to just roll with it and see how it goes then all my childhood coping mechanism come out and I get hurt. Anyway, I’ve decided no new people in my life for a while since most people are just consumed with themselves and they exhaust me. It’s easier to kindly set boundaries even if they choose to judge me for said boundaries.