I feel heavy today. It’s day 3, I do expect to feel crappy, but not in this way. I read something stupid justifying rape this morning, and it sent me spiralling. It was by a man in power. An elected representative. My day was pretty much derailed from there. I initiated a conversation with my most depraved roommate in a useless bid to forget about my anger. Out of the frying pan and into the fire. The pain of listening to her talk is unparalleled. I gave up participating halfway through and left when she realized it. It was cold and I watched a kid sun himself on a window. The same circumstances had made joy seep into me just yesterday, but all I felt was the cold. I talked to my brother later, and he only lied more. I didn’t really care. I felt rogue guilt over a pervasive apathy. I just want to end this day. I’ve learned I can end grey days whenever I please. A mini suicide, a respawn. I just have to sleep. But more often than not, I find the next day is the same.