Androgynous?
Today i went out clubbing after months of covid lockdown…and i had like a super great time partying after being locked up for months! But i also had some moments that made me feel a bit off…i tried to remain as unbothered as i can be and it helped, since my night wasn’t ruined in the slighest! But it did make me think a bit.
It started when i walked into the club and out of now where this girl was all smiles and started dancing/hugging me, complimented me on how i looked and then surely enough she started mentioning my gender and how i looked androgynous. So she asked me if i should be adressed as he or she (i told her it’s she), but then she kept on going about my gender in a embarrassing way (i’m bi sexual transwoman) and also kept trying to grind on me till the point my female friends had to physically stand in front of me since she kept trying to approach me, which was cringy to say the least.
This made me feel a bit self conscious. I couldn’t help but notice that i received many compliments tonight from others (mostly women) telling me i was well dressed and striking up a conversation with me. I wore beige shoes, beige wide leg pants a white blouse and a wide black hat (which i’ve shared with other girls asking if they could wear it). and obviously it doesn’t hurt to be complimented/flirted with…but it made me self conscious about how i was perceived, like do i look androgynous?
It’s the little things such as being called ”handsome” rather than ”pretty”. Or finding out a girl who has been hitting on you is most definitely straight! Perhaps my estrogen is a bit low idk…despite that i still had a great-great night out clubbing.
1 comment
Sounds like a genuine compliment to me! But I know how it is when you’re complimented on something that makes you feel uncomfortable. We start overthinking it and suddenly it can hurt, but that’s when we have to take control of our minds and say ‘no, they were trying to be nice’.
Fwiw I think ‘androgynous’ is a huge compliment, and I think androgynous looking people are much more captivating than those who typify an extreme gender stereotype. It’s mostly the fashion style I think. I mean kristen stewart, david bowie nuff said. In any case, kudos on what sounds like a great night out.