i really need to kill myself, at least this year or two.
i have no future, i don’t want to be homeless and wander the street for my entire life. i need to get over my fear of death and dying so i can finally kill myself and fulfill my pathetic destiny.
i was born to be nothing, i’m a worthless unlovable asshole. i have a method to kill myself, i just need to actually do it without my paranoia stopping me.
no one is going to save me from this home, no one wants to be around me, i have no life or future ahead of me. please, i need to kill myself.
9 comments
Start by taking emotion out of it, which it looks like you’ve already done. You’ve named pragmatic and rational reasons that you want to die. Next you need to find which things about killing yourself scare you. Is it the prospect of failure? check the data for your method of choice on success percent, and consider choosing a higher success rate method. Arm yourself with data and reason, that’s how you fight any fear.
The one thing I see here that blocks that is shame, that’s what drives you to want to avoid the humiliation of poverty, but suicide is also rather humiliating. To get around THAT, you have to find a method that won’t be called suicide, and that is among the greatest challenges available to people who want to die.
With calm determination, you can get there. I don’t think setting a deadline would help, but you know yourself better than I. It is also equally possible that you’ll find another way out that doesn’t involve dying. Maybe. Regardless, I wish you well on your endeavors.
i dont think i understand the finding a method that won’t be called suicide thing. im just scared about what will happen next when i die. will that be it? what will it be like to be nothing forever? will i be reborn into a much more happier life or a much more horrible one?
maybe theres still will to live within me, but i’m still sure that i have zero future. maybe im just being whiny? i made this post last night and oddly i feel ten times better when i woke up today. i don’t know, im sorry.
thank you for the advice, i’ll remind myself of it when it all finally comes down to my destiny.
Furby I’m not far behind you. The irony for me and one of the reasons I want to end my life is that while my life sucked overall, I’ve had some awesome, amazing experiences as well.
I’m close to my 50s and I don’t feel I’ll ever get those types of experiences ever again, except if maybe I get wealthy. The best is really behind me. If I was still in my 20-40s, I’d have felt I had a chance to try again.
For the moment I keep going because my life is definitely improving-but what’s the point of being well off if you’re a shriveled old man by the time you finally “make it”?
Life truly is a ‘bittersweet symphony’ as the song goes. The beauty of our moments is entirely lost on us when we’re young, you take it all for granted.
You think you’ll always stay young, date beautiful girls (if you’re a guy) and live a carefree life. Then hardships hit you and by the time you figure it all out, you’re old and unwanted.
I do thank my parents for giving me brains. People who are less intelligent (than us) will have bad experiences and not know what to do and they’d sadly just suffer-I truly feel sorry for them….like Nietzsche’s example of the ‘tragic donkey’ the beast that cannot bear its load nor cast it off.
I barely slept last night so it’s made me a little sadder than usual and I guess more in touch with existential issues.
Anyhow, regarding death, there is no afterlife-once we die it’s over, like a dreamless sleep. What you should really be worrying about is that you don’t botch your attempt, because you could end up living far worse off than you are today.
If you get paralyzed for instance, you can get hooked up to machines where they force you to live against your will….and you’ll keep suffering until your body finally expires on its own.
So make sure whatever means you choose will be sure-fire. We can’t discuss methods but as others have said definitely do your research. I already chose a pretty solid and reliable methods that countless people have already used successfully and it costs next to nothing.
For now I’m doing ok as mentioned so I’ll stay on this crazy ride a bit longer. But if I also face homelessness, lose all my friends/family and never find a good life partner, then I’ll check out as well.
Frankly some days like today I really don’t care about living anymore. Had I made better use of my younger days I would’ve felt I had a good life, but I messed up and there’s nothing I can do to change it. Maybe one day they’ll cure aging-so we can “stay young” and enjoy our lives indefinitely, but until then we have to accept reality as it is.
Speaking as a person that’s fairly calm about their suicide plan, I can say there will probably never come a time when you will be unafraid of death. I personally believe that death is the end. No thoughts, entity or self. That brings me peace. To know I never have to be reborn to struggle again, or think on in the various versions of heaven. I don’t want to think anymore. Now that is what I can believe. I know it’s hard to convince yourself of a religious belief. I have often wished I could regain my staunch belief in the gods, but I can’t choose it. So I will not tell you to choose a belief that will make suicide easy. I will tell you that there are billions of animals (including people) that have lived and died. Whether reborn in flesh or spirit or living on in a heaven or nothing at all, they are not bothered. They are at peace. Death absolves all crimes, and makes the morality of their act (suicide) insignificant. So why worry about what happens after? All ways it is good. All the possibilities are peaceful.
If you are worried about hell, I cannot help because I never believed it. But rest assured that life and death and completely unrelated to each other. And that eternity does not exist. Everything, even the universe, will end. So if you are worried about being stuck in hell forever, do not.
Can you tell what will happen in the next hour? Definitely unpredictable! So everything you say about your future is an illusion! It hasn’t come yet and you can’t predict what will happen to you in the future!
i cant, but i can still worry. i got into a bit of a work crunch last night, and it made me break. im really worried. i don’t want to sell my body, i don’t want to struggle just to live comfortably. im scared that i won’t make it, i forgot what my dreams were in the first place. it feels so hopeless, especially when you’re stupid like me.
deleted your comment, sorry. i don’t want to go to another suicide board, or make more presences on other boards. i deleted it for my sake, despite the context of this whole topic. sorry again.
I understand a bit of what you’re going through. I understand it so well that I won’t even try to talk you out of dying (though I hope you do find a way to live).
Instead I just wanted to suggest something I think about every day, and it helps me get through the worst. Like you, I’m pretty certain I’ll kill myself this year. Fine, put that aside and forget about it until the time comes. In the meantime focus on what you want to do with you last few months. Basically it’s the old question ‘what if you had 1 year to live’ but we’re in complete control. It won’t fix your life but it may make you more motivated to accomplish a few things with the time you have left.
thats what i’ve been thinking, i’ll see if i can survive next march. march is always a troublesome month for me, so it’ll be a challenge.