For me worse, way worse.
It makes you wonder, if you could go back in time to when you first became suicidal, what could you honestly say to your younger self?
The truth?
“Hey kid, it gets worse. A lot worse. So if you kill yourself now, you’ll be saving us both a lot of pain.”
9 comments
I think it would very interesting to hear from your future self too. “Why did you squander at the opportunities you had before?”
worse in some ways, better in others. I had more physical health, more hope. Those were just as much part of the problem as things that I miss. It takes a long time to come to grips with the fact that no one is coming to save you, there is no light at the end of the tunnel. What there is; an uncomfortable situation, which must be coped with alone.
Knowing I’m alone though, knowing that if I don’t care about it, it won’t happen, gives me a bit more strength, and makes me think someday I’ll live the life I chose. Forget anyone who doesn’t help, they are unworthy of even attention, let alone emotional energy.
Definitely way way worse. @heartlessviking in the comment above makes 2 razorsharp points namely the physical health and the hope. Hope gets pounded out of you as the years go by and when all hope is gone thats when someone makes that irreversible decision. I don’t think any suicide ever went through with it until all hope had been extinguished.
I guess it comes down to the reason why it got worse and can it be fixed? Because a kid doesn’t realize that while there is suffering and pain, there are some wonderful experiences to have as well.
A little suffering is very healthy, it makes one stronger, smarter, more humble and appreciative of the good things in life and to strive further. But ofc if it’s a lot of suffering and life just gets a lot worse, then it makes it not worth living and it’d be better to end it.
I’d tell my younger self to keep going because while I did suffer, I had some great times also-I dated some beautiful girls which alone was worth it…but the main reason is to save family members from ending up in very bad situations. Without my help I know a couple of them could’ve become homeless.
I’d also tell myself to get over the self-hatred, and being upset for being dealt a bad hand in life. Work on rebuilding my confidence and self-esteem and realizing that I’m no less than anyone else.
Most importantly, stop being shy, and to jump on every great opportunity that comes my way as I have nothing to fear or to lose, esp. when it came to dating. While I did date some girls as mentioned, I could’ve a lot more over the years. I just feared rejection, which was pretty stupid-no risk no reward.
Having said all that, now that I’m nearly 50, I feel the reasons for living are rapidly declining. I really hate being a wage-slave, but so long as what I’m doing means I’ll have a nice home to retire in when I’m older, I’d say it’s worth it, but then what’s the point of living if you’re old and can’t run around and do the things the young people are doing?
It’s a bit of a catch-22, you sacrifice your youth so that you’ll be free and comfortable in your old age. What good is having money in old age if you can’t really enjoy it?
I hate to say it but life is only worth living for those who are already rich and young and have no health issues. For the rest of us, it’s just a pointless struggle. Though some people enjoy working hard and going on their time-limited, sanctioned vacations, out of their jail-cells temporarily.
One last point, frankly sometimes even when my life is doing ok, no major problems, I still don’t want to live. I’m tired of the routine, getting poor sleep occasionally, having to do the necessary things it takes to survive, living with regrets, not having your ‘soulmate’, being in a lower economic status than where you should’ve been, etc, I’m just tired of it all.
It’d be great just to go to sleep one last time, never to wake up again. I experienced life, I had enough and I’d like it to end.
What bugs me is that we have the medical technology to easily offer a peaceful end to everyone now, but because of religious lunatics, we’re being largely prevented from having that because of their retarded beliefs. So I guess that’s one reason to keep living to make the world a little better and easier for our fellow humans before we go.
A lot better. When I was 18-19 I experienced psychosis after being prescribed the wrong dose for a stimulant. I could hardly shower but it’s one of those things where you function anyway. it sucked, because I found a parent after they passed away.
If I could go back in time, I’d tell myself to reconsider life and stop isolating. I really believed everyone was better off without me. That I wasn’t worth anything. It was so bad, my depression and suffering. Way worse at that early age than now, for sure. Honestly, I stayed away from family for almost a decade… it all stemmed from that… I’m still not sure if I was right about how they felt about me… but I’m working on reconnecting with them… it’s been a long time… Even my twin… I don’t really know anymore.
But for those hard times, I’d watch fight club over and over again. It pulled me through it but not out of it lol it will always be my favorite movie ig now… Torrenting it … probably should’ve bought it. @-_@
My reply below was meant for you snaep. 🙂
I guess it depends on what genre you’re into, but there are so many movies that are way better imo…I really don’t understand the appeal of Fight Club (FC). It’s just about some dudes bored with their workaday lives and Ikea so they beat each other up in a dirty bsmt.
If you like fighting, watch Game of Thrones, Troy, 300 and the sequel, Kingdom of Heaven, Lord of the Rings, Immortals and plenty more in that genre.
I’m mostly into sci-fi, so if you like high-octane action see Aliens, Stargate SG1, SGA, Alien, Prometheus and Covenant weren’t too bad either, obviously the Star Wars and Trek franchises.
While it doesn’t involve much fighting the Time Machine (2002) was an excellent movie imo, beautifully shot.
There are some great war related movies too like Schindler’s List, Saving Private Ryan, Fury, Inglourious Basterds and many others.
Not to assume that you haven’t seen other films but imo FC is a rather forgettable movie and there is so much other better, memorable content out there.
forgot to add ofc, the Marvel series of movies like Ironman, Thor, Cpt America, etc…and DC’s Justice league, like Superman, Batman and the like. If you’re into anime I’d recommend the Dragon Balls series. Also worth mentioning Resident Evil and the original Matrix movies.