I just feel sick. Like I’m diseased or something. Just no good. The weeks are going by slowly. Slow march towards my failure. I have to make a decision by Friday. So paralyzed with indecision and fear. Makes me feel like nothing. I have to be realistic, but that tiny sad sliver of hope still persists. I’m just no good. The constant noise in my head just won’t stop. I’m scared. Can’t feel a thing.