see the shadow

I was going to lead with groundhog, do a whole groundhog day motif.

I was born on Groundhog Day, long ago. Since then, especially in my adult life, it feels like there is a pattern of groundhog like behavior; I am driven to withdraw due to inhospitable conditions, from which I occasionally briefly emerge to check if conditions have changed.

They haven’t, 10 months I’ve been at it. No place for me in the current world.  Further I have concluded that prior reemergence was based on faulty data; I sincerely believed that an employer would do right by me, not try to screw me.

how was it my professor used to put it? “Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean that no one is out to get you”

Something along those lines. He had a PhD and 40 years of career experience to mine for joke material. Cumulatively, I have maybe 7 years of experience. Out of 12 available. That ratio is going to keep getting worse, the way things are going.

Every day the same, same damn problems, same damn people. The functional living baffle me, how can they delude themselves so efficiently? Really, I want to know, I’ve run out of hot air and wishes.