FUCKING DAMN ITTTTTT!!!!!! I FOUND THE ONE THING, ONE BELIEF, A PRACTICE THAT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD, LIKE I ACOMPLISH SOMEHING WHENEVER I DO SOMETHING RELATED TO IT RIGHT???!!? WELL GUESS WHAT APPARENTLY I CAN’T HAVE THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I’M ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING. WHO FUCKING CARES IF IT’S NOT REAL. IT FUCKING MAKES ME HAPPY!!!! IS THAT REALLY BOTHERING YOU, A RANDOM ASS PERSON ONLINE???!??! CAN’T I JUST FUCKING HAVE FUN???? LOOK WHAT YOU DID! NOW I’M DOUBTING THE EXISTANCE OF WHAT I PRACTICE! ISN’T THAT FUCKING PECULIAR!!!! IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?? WAS THIS YOUR GOAL??? TO CONVINCE ME IT’S NOT REAL?? WHY???? SO I CAN’T FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF? SO I CAN’T ENJOY DOING IT? SO I CAN’T FUCKING HAVE FUN!?!?!?!?!
WELL CONGRATS!!!! NOW MY PRACTICE COMES WITH EXTRA DOUBT, IMPOSTOR SYNDROME AND SHAME!!!! ARE YOU FINALLY SATISFIED?!??!? YOU FUCKING PROUD OF YOURSELF? WELL YOU DID GREAT! CONGRATS! YOU’VE MADE A PERSON’S DAY SO MUCH BETTER!
Ah, this felt good to type. For context, I’ve been a part of a belief group for like a year now, it started out amazingly. I felt like I was doing so much, yeah, I mean like magickal stuff. Sigh, don’t mention it. I know what you’re gonna say but fr, before you do just think about letting me enjoy it. So I just go online and I see the group getting absolutely fucking hated on. I really don’t understand why these ppl do this. I go and defend our group with arguments that actually make sense rather than “you look insane if you actually think ________ or _____________ works/is real” etc. etc. I really don’t understand. We never use our stuff to hurt others, we use it for self improvement, it makes us happy. We’re really not hurting anyone, this is all about positivity and you took it away from me. So what if it’s apparently wrong in your religion? It’s my religion, you shouldn’t intervene. For real. I’ve been plastered with so many “proofs it’s bullshit” that it just makes me wanna give up. I haven’t practiced in so long and it makes me feel bad too, lately I’ve been getting worse and honestly doing these things always brings me back into the mood but now I just don’t have the energy, cause why do it if it’s not real? Why would ______ be real? I’m obviously insane, right? Sigh. I wish we could stop the hate in the world. I think it would be a better place for everyone but at the same time it’s impossible.
If earth was one country, soon many tiny countries would break out because they didn’t agree with the world country and decided to rebel. That’s just human nature. It kinda saddens me. Human nature is also to look down on others to feel better about ourselves. I don’t blame us.