sorry about all the shitposting lately. things have never been this bad.
ordered my “suicide kit” on ebay. By that I mean poison. Last night I stumbled on a news story about a suicide, and the dumbass newspaper reporter told exactly what the poison was. and the dose. It’s not a controlled substance because it has a common harmless use, but if you eat it… glory days. Sure enough I found the stuff on ebay for $4, and it’s 4x the amount the person took. So for $1 i may have bought my ticket out of here. We’ll see in about a week. I should’ve sprung for overnight shipping but I’m not worth the surcharge.
14 comments
I know this must be some hellish time you’re going through. I’m sorry. But I would strongly advise you not to do it that way. It’s a lot of pain and usually unsuccessful.
As for the typical talk you out of it speech, I know things are bad. Things suck in a million ways. But don’t do it on impulse. Plan every detail so you don’t get stuck midway dead in pain. Or don’t do it at all. The way I see it, a lot of us wouldn’t want to die if life was different, me included. If you have the means or the courage, you can make life different. Move to a new place, forget your past, and restart.
lostallhope (dot) com (slash) suicide-stastics
lostallhope (dot) com (slash) suicide-methods (slash) statistics-most-lethal-methods
statistics
Im aware of statistics. They lump all “poisoning” in the same category meaning everything from battery acid to flintstones vitamins. Trust me this isn’t my first rodeo and I do my research meticulously. My point which I won’t get further into because I don’t want to encourage any methods is that the newspaper article irresponsibly outlined a specific highly lethal substance that I was able to purchase for $4 on ebay. It even detailed witness statements who said the suicide victim quietly collapsed without any fanfare. god bless the free press.
Statistics was me correcting my typo.
I really hope you make it through this. World’s crap, but you can have a good time if you blinker yourself. Become a recluse in some form. Lows get better, it’s just your brain fucking up. Life levels out at flat at worst. Misery is a treatable illness. You find the right treatment life gets really good. I’ve been on both sides. The good part is totally unrelated to your circumstances. Just chemicals working right. You can sustain it with the right treatment.
Should you do it anyway, take painkillers before anything else. Heavy duty ones. I wish you luck, whatever you choose. Take care of yourself.
Bad idea, that’s physical pain and torture.
You seem like genuine and good dude. I’m assuming you’re not psyched about your situation and you’d rather things be turning out different.
I’ve been cheated on by everyone I’ve ever dated. Dated many types of person, took my time to fix myself in between, put in the work necessary to do the right thing, learn the red flags, focus on myself, and hoping for things to work out how I was told they should. But like I said, every single time, no matter how real it felt, I had my heart mangled and thrown out.
My friends and family basically ditched me because, while I never act out or lose it when I’m struggling, I get sad and I guess that’s not fun to be around for them.
Once had a girl I was dating cheat on me with my best friends and then all my other friends stopped talking to me because they wanted to hangout with him instead.
I think about it all the time. The choice between this constant, unfair pain we’re made to be subjected to in response to trying our best – and the seemingly peaceful realm of nothing. Nothing makes sense in this overwhelming reality we live in now, so the prospect of having to deal with literally nothing seems like the better choice.
But we don’t know what happens after this! And honestly that’s scarily motivational. What if this is it. What if this is the only time you get. Do whatever you want with it!!
Don’t succumb to the illusion of this post-life world that’s in any way peaceful. You don’t know what it’ll feel like to be on the other side.
Please listen to me. You’ve made a realization most of the world hasn’t ever had the intelligence or ability to do. Please understand how important this realization is and how it changes everything. You’ve already mentally broken from the mold holding you in a place of pain: —-> Embrace the idea that you want things to be different. That’s a good thing.
Sorry to hear that you’ve been driven to this decision but I understand. Everyone’s life is different and some of us are suffering more than others.
I know I came close a few times to that ‘final’ decision myself but I avoided going forward because I have a couple of family members who needed me in their lives to survive (and they still do).
I can’t speak for others but now that I’ve reached the age of 50 this year, there isn’t much that is “new” or “special” for me. I know what to expect from life.
In the past I let myself believe some stupid crap about how you can make it ‘big’ if you try in this world, but I realized it’s BS and only very few ever ‘make it.’ However at least I’ve been able to make an average income and get by.
I do have an ‘ace in my back pocket’ and I plan to play that card in the future, but I need to get out of my current situation first.
Should that card play out then I’ll have a happier life, if not then I lose very little and will just try to find a job in my field which pays more than what I’m making now and should be easier too.
I also wish you the best, whatever you decide. I appreciated some of your posts, particular in response to mine. All of us will be gone one day, some sooner than others.
Hey, I’m also here for you. I hope you’re not fighting this alone, without proper care and support. I remember I was close like you are now. I never saw a professional because I was used to mental pain and called it a waste of money. But it helped tremendously. I know how it feels to do the rare interview with the counselor then take a medication that isn’t effective and feel like nothing’s changed (but the psychiatrist was too booked out and I needed a change to feel well again)
As much as I can, I’m here begging you not to do this.
And don’t say sorry for shitposting, we’re here to listen
Hey man : /
I’d have to begin this with asking you to please cancel that order/plan or at least just postpone it..
I remember your answer to a post some time ago in which someone was asking some existential questions.. will try to find it & reply to you there also cause your answer was really profound
but for now, I tell you this:
When one chooses a life-purpose, it has to be one that you’d need at least lifetime to achieve..
Something general & really big
Think:
Ending/reducing world hunger for example
Or ending or reducing homelessness in my City..
Something that you don’t get to finish & sit purposeless afterwards
Just don’t do it. Not if not doing it is even physically an option. I’m not trying to preach or anything (I’ve spent the better part of my entire life convinced I shouldn’t be alive), but ultimately it’s such a horribly destructive action, to you and absolutely everyone around you, often in ways you probably can’t quite picture now.
I also strongly echo the comment about seeing a professional. The difference between sitting through an interview every so often to readjust whatever meds you’re on and actually commiting to expressing what is wrong is almost inexpressible. You really can talk about anything.
I’m ready to go, too. Nothing has worked out for me. I am homeless and things just keep getting worse. I need a kit or a gun sounds more likely to work.
I’m assuming this kit contains Sodium Nitrite? I’m thinking of this method myself. It’s hard to tell whether it would be painless though.
are you okay?