It’s official, I have a new job….. Never been this low effort getting in before…..
The temptation is to ascribe such happenstance to a higher power, especially because the people at the new job are…. religious. Nothing wrong with that, I’m just not sure if I am anymore. Which brings it back to the realistic anxiety; why is it so easy? maybe it’s a good fit? IDK, too soon to say.
The physical pain is abundant, and I’ve never been this into it. I have to balance between pushing myself as hard as I can, and making sure my ability to function keeps working. It’s a surprisingly cognitively difficult task. I’ve never worked with people this kind…. and at the same time prejudiced?! I’m a secret liberal in a red state, so I’m used to keeping my forward thinking ideas to myself. Still, rare to deal with conservatives like these, even here.
It’s something to do, and hopefully a source of decent money. Long term? who knows. I’m grateful for the pain, the challenge, and the companionship. I don’t even feel like I can blow it this time, which is strangely confining and liberating all at once…
that’s my religion, the seeking and observation of paradox, how two things can contradict and align at once. That’s the only beauty, the only majesty I know.