i will not forgive him out of your convince. you’re my mother and you’ve been with me every step of my life, and i’ve told you the things that man has done to me. you simply don’t care, you just want us to be a “happy family” again. why do i have to be silenced? why do you leave me alone with this horrible excuse of a human being? why do you defend him?
when i told you i wanted to die, you told me you wouldn’t care if i killed myself. now you just deny saying that in the first place whenever i bring it up. i heard you say it. my old therapist heard you say it.
i cant bring myself to hate you, but i do wish that for once that you would understand. you’ve been much more kinder to me now, but i hate it whenever you say “i wish you would just forgive your brother”.
i relasped back into self-harm today, i dont know how long i havent done it, but i managed to sharpen my exact-o blade with a nail file.