I’ve decided.

I used to look at my personality as a curse. I never could bring myself to do it, and I hated that I was incapable of it. I hated that I couldn’t lie worth a damn, and kept revealing my feelings to the people I love. And that I had a single wish, to make a book that spoke of all of these feelings I had and transformed it into a positive, a strength. I wanted to let others feel hope in that darkest time, and even if its a bit conceited, its what I wanted. Its still what I want, even though I used to think of it as a pathetic way to escape guilt. But now I see it kinda differently. I think writing out emotions has a powerful effect, and I think, in a way, I’ll be writing my own story to open my eyes to life again. So, I decided. I’m not gonna give up on myself until I finally publish it. When I finally finish it, and read it back to myself, I’ll decide then what I want the rest of my life to be. I don’t think its fair to not give my passion a chance. Even if it goes no where and it just ends up being the same as effective as a personal diary, if it can help me see the light in the world, then I’ll keep going.