Apparently all I really needed to clear my sinuses was an eight hour day hanging pipe in a future craft store. Upshot, we got the A/C on today, so the work area is somewhat liveable. The humidity is still awful, but after a few days that should let up.
I feel remarkably dead inside. I came out of my near coma to realize that my current work is repetitive and silly, but I also can’t think of anything better to do. To be clear; I could think of plenty of better things to do, but they all cost money. I can’t think of anything better to do and get paid for. Following my “passion” and “bliss” made me incredibly miserable, bitter and cynical. So I’m doing this stupid thing, I need to raise roughly $50k to be capable of liquidating my assets and giving a big middle finger to the modern economy. Seriously, 15 years of work, and I’m convinced I would have better spent my time learning to play music. There’s real money in audio manipulation, unlike I don’t know “working for a living.”
pfft
I hate our species, and more specifically the social contract and capitalism. It’s a big rip off towards kind or generous people, meanwhile selfish people grow rich and comfortable. Everything about the world I see encourages cruelty and penalizes good intentions.
I was somewhat entertained today when I realized that if I didn’t have a job when I got there (because of my sudden illness, I’ve lost jobs for less), I would be remarkably fine. That’s how dead I am, regardless of the outcome of what I do, it’s fine. If things blow up, then it’s beyond my control and “at least I tried.” If things keep the same, I get to spend another day listening to audiobooks and collecting the exact same amount of money I would have earned when my job sucked my soul out.
It’s great, in the way that many alternatives are suitably awful that this is comparably honest and free.