It helps me when I’m suicidal to list little dumb things that make me last an extra 10 minutes. Try making your own list. Make it personal and stupid and something no one else would find inspirational. I’ll include mine as an example
You haven’t been on a 19th century sail ship before. Or pooped in a golden toilet. Seen that one celebrity in real life before. Or that one famous painting. Or heard your favorite band live. What’s that one thing really like, in real life? What does frankensense smell like? What is it like to ride a Jetski? There are so many things you don’t know yet, and since you’re going to die anyways, you might as well try it out beforehand.
Your favorite song hasn’t dropped yet. Your favorite movie is going to come out next November. In fact, you haven’t gotten to experience any of your all-time favorite things yet. No wonder you’re miserable. You haven’t gotten all those things that make you happy.
Funerals are expensive. Dying makes a huge mess. Shitting your pants and being covered in sweat sounds miserable. And embarrassing. Ew.
A nap would be good right about now. The other side of your pillow is probably nice and cold right now. It’d feel nice against your cheek.
Fuck it. Just wait. You can do it just as easily in a couple of months once you’ve gotten the things you’re curious about out of the way.