why is it so hard now that im older? joining things like random chats dull the loneliness for only a short bit, and im sure its going to be more tough once im back in school.
no one really talks to me nowadays, unless its about art i owe them. ive made up so many characters in my mind, things that make me feel cared for.. but only for a while. im not insane, i know they’re not real. i know they dont care about me. even with calls with my friends, i usually end up just quiet because i dont want to interrupt anyone else talking.
how does someone unloveable like me find any sort of friends? i feel so alone, but is this just temporary? will i actually find friends at school this year? i dont know, but right now it hurts