Life on the road

I live in a semi truck. I get to live inside about 4 to 5 days a month. I always had problems with money before I lived in a truck because my scoliosis back problem always caused so much of an issue I would always quit the labor jobs that were available and take time off. My back braced helped a little bit. Anyways while I’m making lots of money and the nature of the job is good for my back I can’t take living in a vehicle anymore. I’m gonna quit soon and I’ll be forced to go back to a more labor intensive job most likely. Maybe something else will work out. When I was younger I became very suicidal and had bad attempts and did very dangerous things. It’s almost like I snapped. But then I found out there’s something past snapping. Where I just do not care to such an incredible extent. Like zero feeling. I didn’t care about myself or others or believe in anything or care to even think about really anything at all. Just like some absent minded pet animal gazing around wherever the wind blew me. So strange.