we begin at the end because theres no way in hell im going back to the beginning. ill take that secret to the grave. lets begin at the end and keep it short.
the ‘cure’ was supposed to be love. yeah another fucking moron who thought love is the cure. can you blame me, can you blame any of us, for believing that nonsense? the way its rammed down our throats before we can even read, the way its rammed down our throats in countless books, movies, poems, and every ridiculous pop jingle on the radio. can you blame any one of us for being so fucking stupid for believing the propaganda?
so here we are, near the end, life has ground me to a pulp and im done. but look at that, here comes love. of course i lunged at it like a drowning dumbfuck lunges at a piece of twine.
i worked to make myself worthy. cleaned myself up (holy shit i cleaned up good), made a shitload of money and bought a house. i almost used the word ‘mansion’ but you wouldnt believe me so lets stick with house. i did everything. i asked nothing except that my love never lie to me like all the others. what a fucking sweet deal…
ill let you guess what went wrong. not worth typing
i just find it fucking funny that here i am right back at suicides door. same rope ready to go. sturdy rope. a lot more sturdy than that piece of twine that i thought would save me
3 comments
You should consider becoming a writer, if you aren’t already. As far as your secret beginning goes, none of us here really knows who you are anyway. This is a safe place to share that secret, since the anonymity of this place prevents there from being any repercussions. I hate people that lie the same way you do. I’m so sorry to hear that happened.
hah fuck love, yeah
We’re bombarded with the dumbest fucking love propaganda for sure, telling us we should all strive for the awful, insufferable, toxic love we see blasted all over every TV screen in this country, and once we accomplish marriage, we’ve reached the goal, everything’s smooth sailing from there.
It’s bullshit. People want connections, people need community. Sometimes that can partially come from a romantic relationship, but it’s not the only thing you need. You’re a full person, and we all need more than one little romantic relationship to fix us, even if every piece of media for the past 200 years has told us “all we need is (romantic) love”. It’s exhausting, and it’s unfulfilling, and some people give everything to try to reach that only for it to almost inevitably fall through.
There are other things out there for you. Romantic love is fine, but it’s not the conclusory event of our lives like we’re told to believe.