My whole life I have hated myself. I dont remember why I started hating myself (I suspect childhood shit), but It’s become apparent lately that I have very little practice being self-loving. Lately, I decided I should try to develop more self-love, as long as I have that option before suicide. After all, if Im going to die–one way or another–then I at least want to accomplish loving myself. When I imagine dying, knowing I never loved myself…Im just not happy with that result. I want to defeat that shadowy monster always lurking behind my back, whispering all kinds of negative things into my ears. So Ive been giving it my all, and trying out a lot of the things people typically suggest when one wants to cultivate self-love. Part of that is Gratitude & Exercize. When I get the urge to write negative stuff on SP, Ive been making gratitude lists instead. It seems to be having positive effects.
I think Im going to leave this site for now, though. The messages you put into your head matter, and lets face it, this isnt exactly the healthiest or most positive place to be in sometimes. A lot of times, actually. I want to try feeding my mind better things. Negative thoughts cant produce positive outcomes. I want to develop more positivity. So, this is Goodbye for now.
Thank you everyone for your inputs, suggestions, and patience with me.
I think Ive found a good way out. I hope you all find a good way out too.
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3 comments
this is really good advice and i hope everything turns out great for you
Hope you get to where you want to be.
wishing you well
I will note that at best I feel neutral about the specific part of your strategy that involves shutting yourself out of this site…. because of course I do, you’ve been an interesting participant. Without you, it gets less interesting…..
but for everything there is a time and a season, so maybe this is the time and season for this for you. If I don’t see ya, good afternoon good evening and good night.