I’ve been crying for the last fours hours. I just became overwhelmed with such sadness. I’m thinking about killing myself(again) but instead of trying to overdose on Mirtazapine my mind keeps playing the local Bridge. Over and over again on a loop. I keep thinking about the cold cold water. And that it’ll hurt, but then the pain. My pain will finally be over. I tired to die back in 2019.
And I honestly, stupidity thought that It would get better. That my family would treat me better that people would be nicer to me. I thought things would change. But I was WRONG. It Will NEVER get better. To those of you on here be honest, after you tried taking your life has ANYTHING changed? No it really didn’t. Sure everyone was sad and worried about you for a month or two. But once you “acted” normal and grateful to be alive things got shitty once again. Life doesn’t get better and things never change people never change. So what’s the point? I’m a 25 year old woman with nothing. To the people saying of women can’t be lonely sad depressed only men can! I would personally love to come over and slap the taste out of your mouth. I’ve done nothing or importance in my life my brother has a house a car good job and money my other brother has a job and a family. Yet I failed out of college to be a vet, can’t get into a relationship, don’t have friends, and my family uses me as an emotional punching bag. I have NOTHING to live for. I lay in my bed rotting away and people don’t care. I don’t understand I help out so many people yet in my time of need no one comforts me or helps me. I can’t do this anymore I’m tired. I don’t want to be 30 and still living with my asshole family. Everyone is doing better than me. I just want to go to the bridge and let it happen. No one will miss me anyway .
1 comment
Sorry about what you’re going through. It’s tough to have to feel like that on a daily basis. These holiday months, I’ve been dealing with my seasonal depression. School feel out for me too, but I still carry music as being something I want to do still and work a job. You’re still in ur mid 20s though, so you still have time to plan. If you feel therapy is helping you, I would continue it. Therapy didn’t do much for me, but I did try it out. Used to be on meds, but no longer am. Didn’t like the way they made me feel, so I do what I can to get back what things used to be. I also don’t have a relationship or someone to call my own. It can get lonely. I totally know hoe it feels. Anyway, here’s my email address if u want to vent: morganb58@yahoo.com.