nobody actually understands my sadness. i hate it honestly. but then again, they haven’t been through what i’ve been through so of course they wouldn’t understand.
another thought: would things actually be better if i jumped off a ledge? if i drowned myself? i would think so. but then again, when my aunt died, which was earlier this year, i kept having dreams of her being in pain knowing that she’s dead. what if i’m the same way when i die? then committing suicide would be completely useless. am i going crazy? i feel like i am. maybe i’m living in a nightmare.