I’m pretty sure most of us here understand the feeling of loneliness, the kind that kills you. Have you ever really analyzed why you’re lonely?
It’ll be different for everyone. But maybe some of you know this situation… The real reason why I’m alone is because I’m not trying. And the reason why I’m not trying is because it seems so pointless to play the relationship game when they all seem to end the same way. This disease of depression, or self-destruction, or whatever brought you to this site, will destroy any relationship you get into. That’s what my brain keeps reminding me. Because 10 times out of 10 that’s what always seems to happen.
It’s not even about me anymore. I’m sick of fucking up everyone’s life, everyone I come in contact with, like I’m contagious or something. Maybe this disease really is contagious. Why should I be a Typhoid Mary spreading my misery to others, for my selfish need to be with someone?
So I don’t try.
So I’m alone.
So I’m fucked.