General by Plainwhite 2/22/2023 written by Plainwhite 2/22/2023 What’s stopping you from killing yourself? 7 comments 1 Email Related posts 11/29/2023 It Is So Hard to Speak 11/28/2023 It’s going to have to get worse 11/28/2023 what’s the point? 11/28/2023 11/28/2023 I Feel Left Behind 11/27/2023 i dont feel sick 11/27/2023 life sucks but it can get better 11/27/2023 Abandoned I’m Afraid 11/25/2023 11/25/2023 7 comments eternaldarkness 2/22/2023 - 1:59 pm The materials I need to do it properly so it is 100% fatal + painless. They do not make easy for one to off oneself. Unless you want to risk fuking yourself up more by attempting and screwing up, which is sadly 97% of the case. 97% of all suicide attempts fail. That’s too huge of a risk to attempt and fail. Log in to Reply heartlessviking 2/22/2023 - 2:44 pm well, lithium. Not joking at all, since I got started on lithium the amount I think about suicide is significantly down, apparently that’s one thing it’s really good for. Outside that though, rationally speaking; I’m upset at the concept of someone I know finding my dead body. Not getting into methods, but none of them leave behind a pretty corpse. Even if they did, I shudder to think of someone who knew me knowing I couldn’t take it any more. The shame of that (even though rationally I wouldn’t feel it, being dead) is what keeps me trying to live to die of old age. that’s the other thing. Death is coming, unavoidable and certain. I have a maximum of 60 years left… I’m more than 1/3 of the way through, and the last 1/3 looks REALLY low impact/low stress. So I’m halfway through the worst of it. That, and I have investments. Stay alive long enough, I might be able to collect and do what I want to do. quite a bit, it turns out, keeping me from KS, on the other hand I’ve been suicidal for a decade….. and almost all the effort anyone has made relative to me was to try and make dying harder for me. Last thing (maybe), I worry about what comes after. My main idea is still nothing, because that would be the loveliest. I’ve been wrong enough though, what if there’s hell? what if there’s heaven? what if I reincarnate? That last one gets me the worst, because as bad as THIS is, people on this planet have it worse. I don’t want to trade in my reliable beater car for a bicycle or bus seat is the sum of that last one. Yes, it’s a piece of shit, but I don’t have to wait out in the wet/heat/cold for a ride. Log in to Reply thebends 2/22/2023 - 4:31 pm short answer: I don’t have the right catalyst. I have the motive & means, and I have the plan rehearsed to the minute, but I still need that final trigger to set it all in motion. long answer: As much as this world can suck my ass, I figure as long as I’m here I can do a few things to make it a better place for others. It’s really a waiting game. What will happen first, will I get hit with that final catastrophic stroke that will flip the suicide switch, or in the meantime as I’m dedicating myself to a purpose will I find enough meaning in life to keep going even after the catastrophe hits? The suspense actually keeps me interested for now. Because the fact is once you die, you’ll never know how things could’ve turned out otherwise. Log in to Reply mindlessgamer619 2/22/2023 - 5:53 pm If only I was braver, maybe. XD Way too scared to go that route, self preservation is a ***** sometimes. Maybe I still care a little about some things and some people. I really don’t know. Log in to Reply Apollo360 2/22/2023 - 9:27 pm I would say that there’s no easy way to do it or you might fail and become more messed up. If there was a special pill that could take you out peacefully with no pain, that would be a much better way. Then there’s the thought of having a button and cease to exist, which I would want if they exist. A lot of the methods are just painful, so I think that’s why I can’t go through with it. Like I want to stop living, but just feeling the pain and slow death just scares me. I’ve just realized a few days how we lived in a messed up world and that I want no part of it. If there was a simple solution, such as a simple pill with no pain, I wouldn’t hesitate to do it. Log in to Reply nomore 2/23/2023 - 8:02 am “Hope” Log in to Reply Plainwhite 2/23/2023 - 8:01 pm I honor you all. Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for answering. You all deserve something nice. I regret that I cannot give it to you. Log in to Reply Leave a Comment Cancel ReplyYou must be logged in to post a comment.Subscribe to comments: Don't subscribe All Replies to my comments Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.