No go for a walk or go journal type of stuff. That’s for when one is sad.
Is there ANYTHING that can realistically pull us out of a DEEP DEEP DEEP Depression? I’m at a point where I’m in despair- I’ve lost hope that “things will be better.” When you’ve waited years and decades, and those words haven’t turned true, and things only have gotten worse, not better. And once you’re middle-aged or old, realistically, what “hope” is there left that “things will be better”? The older you are, the less likely it’s going to happen before you eventually kick the bucket.
I swear, it’ll be just my luck that the day I no longer feel depressed and actually want to live, is the day I’ll die.
Anyhow, I’m in despair. I don’t know how to get out of it.
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Going to be a downer here, I don’t think there is anything that can be done directly to reverse despair. As deep as you are, and I’ve been there, the best you can do is survive. The only improvement is to survive better.
A lot of that is about keeping your body working, even if it’s difficult. Eat, sleep, use the bathroom, wear clean clothes and for sure have a shower or bath once a week. It’s amazing how often that is enough. That is also exactly what would be provided to you on a psych ward, though they’d add some bells and whistles to make it seem more like treatment.
If you can though, don’t worry about later on. Once your trust and hope is gone, the only way it can return is by people around you displaying worthiness. That’s not a you thing, just because something is bothering you doesn’t make it your fault.
Escapism also works pretty often. Do you have any shows or video games you can throw yourself into, descend into fiction? I’m personally a big fan of post apocalyptical and horror.
I make a job of it, and assign myself the task. We don’t always work because we want to, more often it is because we have to. Realizing that it’s your existence on the line, there’s work to do. If you need help with it, there are people who can. It’s okay not to take the help though, and even okay to give up. Giving up just doesn’t have to mean dying.
I’ve given up, on pretty much everything. The world is working hard to pull me back in, and when they can afford to pay for it I’ll cooperate. I’m essentially a high class hobo, an emotional support human for a few dozen people. I have exactly as much purpose as my dog, and watching him gives me hope that I can learn to accept that.
“Once your trust and hope is gone, the only way it can return is by people around you displaying worthiness.”
That’s the problem. I don’t have anyone in my life that gives af about me.
Unfortunately I think we know the sad truth of this condition: we can’t pull *ourselves* out. Just like drowning, you can’t lift yourself onto dry land if you’re in the water. For that, help has to come from the outside.
That’s why self-help books and thinking positive and eating right and exercise can’t save us, not when we’re this far gone. What the mental health community doesn’t seem to get is that a drowning person has to be rescued, plucked from the water, before they can start healing. If you see a drowning person in the middle of the ocean are you really gonna yell “think positive! try yoga!”
OMG this!! That’s a great analogy- a super depressed person is like someone who’s drowning- and yes, society (along with other depressed ppl) respond with useless crap like “think positive! try yoga!” which does not work- if it did- would we all still be here??
“For that, help has to come from the outside.”
Right? Everyone is screaming out for help, and all we get are “go help yourselves” from everyone- even from other depressed ppl- bc we’ve all been brainwashed to think all we need to do is journal, exercise, think positive, etc.
There is a reason why MILLIONS of ppl in the US alone are depressed, and many stay depressed for decades. We reach out for help and they basically tell us to help ourselves, which isn’t much help.
Most of us want to be heard/understood, feel like our life has meaning/purpose, and for people to care about us.
I think most ppl who suffer from depression fall into these categories-
1- ppl who are lonely (don’t have anyone who truly cares about them),
2- ppl who have no purpose/passion/drive/reason for living,
3- ppl who have health issues,
4- ppl who have economic issues (lack of money, housing, etc).
I think someone who brings over a casserole (or a pint of ice cream) is more helpful than any “think positives” or telling someone to go do something. Sure a casserole or chicken soup doesn’t fix any problems but it sure goes a long way to make someone FEEL better- that SOMEONE actually gives a damn about them. And also, if someone is depressed or sick or poor, they’re likely not eating well so bringing over actual food would help.
I think you nailed it with the 3 main categories of depression. Wouldn’t it be great if there were programmes that addressed these 3 specific things? Instead of psych wards & doctors focusing on the person’s head, how about resources to fix these problems?
For example if the person is lonely with no one who cares about them, there could be social workers who visit, bring casserole & ice cream, watch movies or take the person hiking… whatever it takes to make them feel a connection with humans again.
Or if the depressed person has no purpose in life, there could be a special branch of the employment department that will find meaningful work for depressed people whose talents are wasted because they don’t see the point.
And of course the big one which would save countless lives I’m sure… For people who have been wiped out financially and can’t pay rent or medical expenses, leading to suicidal depression, how about some debt cancellation and interest free loans so they can get back on their feet?
I feel like any of these things would save so many more lives and end more depression than the standard suicide hotline bandaid that’s supposed to fix everything…and clearly not doing its job.
it’s bc “a patient cured is a customer lost.” The MIC (Medical Industrial Complex) has no incentive to actually fix problems- if they did they would lose BILLIONS of dollars, revenue lost from all the medications, psych hospitals, etc that don’t work. It’s most profitable to keep ppl alive but sick, needing daily “meds” and whatnot.
In the UK, they have programs where if you have a baby, they have ppl who are specially trained in baby care (whatever they’re called, i forget the name) to come and visit the mother and teach her how to care for the infant and check up on the mother and baby for x # of months after the baby is born. Post partum depression is WAY lower in the UK than in the US. Why? Bc in the US there is no such program. You’re lucky if you can afford to have a baby in a hospital. (Oh in the US, you have a baby, they immediately discharge you, vs the UK, they have you stay a day or two to make sure you and baby are ok, especially after having a c-section. But you get kicked right out if you’re in the US). Oh yes, and the infant mortality rate is WAY higher in the US than the UK (and many other countries). Why? Bc of this kind of practice.
Anyhow, I veer off, but bottom line is “healthcare” is a profit making business, especially in the US, and NOT about actually making us healthy. That is why “treatments” don’t work. The “treatments” are always the ones that generate the most profit for the Medical Industrial Complex.