Sickman

Drugs is pretty generic, though since you said needle that does narrow it down to stuff I’ve never tried (not for lack of trying)
Alcohol and porn I know well though. I’ve come the closest to struggling with alcohol. When I went through my divorce while also being unemployed… I drank more than I’m proud of. I could barely function, managing to feed myself and use the bathroom and little else. What brought me back out was finding stuff I needed to be awake for.

Meeting my wife was the end of me abusing alcohol though. See, her dad is an alcoholic, flushed his life away. Because of her we have a rule that we only drink when we’re happy. If we’re sad, it’s gotta be something else.

Porn though, that’s a sticky wicket. I’ve gone round and round with it, right now I’m desensitized to the point it doesn’t do anything. One thing I do when I am on it is switch to short stories, so at least I’m not reinforcing unrealistic body images in my head.

not that I consider myself a success in that area, it’s just something I’ve put a lot of time and effort into. My first wife wanted me entirely off such things, that she should be enough to satisfy my desires. That shame was part of why that marriage failed. Now, my current wife, she looks at it, I look at it, it’s fantasy. The lack of shame actually means I use less of it.

Weed…. I’ve tried to get further into. The only kind I like is either expensive or a lot of work. I like infusions, kicks quick and easily adjusted in dose, minimum $60 a month. The other thing I’ve kindof liked was concentrate, but it’s way too easy to get an oversized dose.

Identify triggers, explore other ways to deal with them. Also, get friends that don’t have to drink or do drugs to hang out. Mainly though, don’t be too hard on yourself, don’t worry about later, focus on now. Get through this hour, then this day, change takes time.