I’m so tired. People like doing things to me without consequence. Sometimes unintentionally. And I am no longer down for that. He said I don’t want a commitment if I’ll be far away. I said do as you please. But he has to realize, I will hold him accountable for that. And I will remember that. She said I’d be more comfortable living elsewhere. Which is fine for her to do, But, it is also fine for me to completely eliminate her from my life or simply stop talking to her. I basically had plans and she cancelled them. Which again its okay, it is fine. BUT I am allowed to react. I am allowed to express distaste for the actions and transgressions committed against me. FOR I TOO AM HUMAN. And I TOO GET TIRED. Sometimes people take for granted the people around them. Like that SOB who stole 5k from me. I let him into my life. Got him out of homelessness and that is how he paid me back. He asked me to be roommates and didn’t pay rent. I only regret no suing him. Or that other dude who doesn’t seem to give a fuck about me. Which is fine, but now it is almost mutual. I want to live and be happy. But there are so many factors working against that. The people factor however I’m cutting people off. I just don’t have the strength to deal with them anymore. I am already crazy with lots of issues. I already don’t learn very well. I already hate aspects of me I cannot change. So, I don’t want any of you (humanity) holding me back. I can do that on my own thank you. I feel like whoever said no man is an island, knew how gregarious we are by nature. But I now feel like sometimes it is better to be alone than with bad company. I am not looking for people to celebrate my every stupidity. But I am no longer tolerating mistreatment. I think these people who are treating me like this need out of my life. And that is exactly what they are getting. I don’t think I deserve this, especially from her. All she does is hurt me. And I am done with her. Is there possibilities of repairing the relationship? Yes, am I taking any steps towards that? No. Will the dynamic of the relationship change after this? Definitely. I want peace in my life. That is all.
I hate isolating after being around bad people. Because then I’m left with an imprint of them. And I have to sit with it for a minute.