General by Divine 5/29/2023 written by Divine 5/29/2023 I wish I could go back to s*********.com. Felt nice having a chatroom. I noticed that more businesses were regulating what I need. Prices rising, too. The bastards. 12 comments 0 Email Related posts UBI and Depression 10/1/2023 Dumb Affirmations 10/1/2023 I Wonder If I Should Burn That Shirt 10/1/2023 I’m looking out for me 9/30/2023 Mediocrity 9/30/2023 I don’t fit, I can’t fit 9/29/2023 I’ll be honest I can’t stand being Trans... 9/29/2023 Life is Worth Saving 9/28/2023 Life is Worth Losing 9/28/2023 Cognitive dissonance and OCD are destroying me 9/27/2023 12 comments CARLOSPEJUAN 5/29/2023 - 6:41 am What is that? Log in to Reply Divine 5/29/2023 - 7:01 am Website for help on commiting suicide. I used to be against it. I always wanted to help people get out of there. I’ve never given advice there. I still can’t. If I somehow were approved to return, I’d say hi and die hoping someone would light a candle for me. People care a little bit in there. It feels *good. It’s free reign, no stigma, unless you want to help someone put the knife down. Then you get banned. (Emotional vampires in there, no surprise.) At one point, everyone in the chatroom agreed that I wasn’t doing anything wrong but being warm and kind. Especially the person the admin raged over. And nobody reported me for offering a safe space to vent. The admin became infuriated that I offered comfort to someone/ (dmed personal problems, became friends) and banned me. Still, I don’t mind it anymore. The emotional vampires, (trust me, the admin made more than one account and uses them when she feels slighted.) A vampire, Oh dear goddamn God, don’t slight them. (Jk) lol they ask for money on that site now. Can’t always win, huh. Life isn’t fair. Life has become more of a game for me. And this is the most peaceful exit, believe it or not. Since the shout out on 911, I’ve changed my mind. I’m ready now. I think the message in that was full of contempt. I think she was saying “You’re ugly, you’re mentally ill, nobody wants you around.” Then she posted my work on the end of it, and I’m guessing told me to go fuck myself. Idk why. All I mentioned on here was that I was fired. On the “white sands” part in the music video, she says “Did I?” Which is stabbing. She thinks I’m ugly and mentally ill, and hopes I never win in life. 🙁 I keep imagining myself growing old feeling this way. I’m not going to. She also comped in “drink poison” and removed it. :I I can’t wait to do this. I guess a light hearted joke would be more like “She sounds pretty salty” I know I didn’t deserve any of the stuff she did. I get it. I’m just not going to grow old feeling like this. 50 more years? No thank you. She also said she’d never remove the insult because she meant what she said. And I believe her! God. How do I get myself into these situations. I guess by posting my fandom on here. Lol Log in to Reply Divine 5/29/2023 - 8:14 am Order is placed. I’m so damn tired of throwing it away and being like “tomorrow is gonna be better, forget this shit :D” Life doesn’t work that way, obviously. It isn’t fair. It messes with my mind. I’m ready now, after all of these years. Log in to Reply Divine 5/29/2023 - 10:25 am Last time I drank it, I expected it to taste like bleach. It tasted like ocean water. Actually, not as bad as sea water. I started retching, and my skin turned bleach white with black circles around my eyes, like a ghost.. My fingertips changed a little, not a lot. It was strange. I was so happy. I guess I didn’t swallow enough. I was interrupted by two men doing lawn work in the middle of nowhere. And trust me, I searched and searched for BFE. I ended up driving home, sobbing, and falling asleep. Log in to Reply one_day 5/29/2023 - 10:53 am I am so scared of permanant damage if it doesn’t work… what you describe sounds terrible. Probably you puked up too much thats why it didn’t work. Log in to Reply Divine 5/29/2023 - 2:06 pm No. I just didn’t drink enough. I could see heart damage being a thing, kidneys, and it’s going to be hard to breathe, but I don’t care at this point. Log in to Reply one_day 5/29/2023 - 3:59 pm My biggest fear is to incapacitate myself to the point where I can’t do it properly. Like if I was rendered a vegatable so I couldn’t attempt again. Then I’d just be forced to continue living as a vegetable Log in to Reply Divine 5/29/2023 - 7:33 pm I’ve heard of that. That would be unimaginable. That’s where I need to just do it and drink as much as possible. Honestly, I don’t think my method is too horrible if it fails. So easy to prevent survival on this. I’m reading in a science report thing on google that two teaspoons made someone soil themselves and vomit. I drank more than that and I felt stomach pain, fingertips darker, pale skin, gagging, but nothing else. Log in to Reply Divine 5/29/2023 - 7:37 pm Somethings talking in here. I imagine it’s going to be a mindfuck dying in this room. Log in to Reply one_day 5/29/2023 - 11:11 pm I hope it’s not too painful. Are you doing it now? Log in to Reply Divine 5/30/2023 - 2:19 am No. Log in to Reply Divine 5/30/2023 - 4:38 am Waiting for delivery. Log in to Reply Leave a Comment Cancel ReplyYou must be logged in to post a comment.Subscribe to comments: Don't subscribe All Replies to my comments Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.