Sure I’ve had ups and downs, been various levels of depressed, very depressed and suicidal. But the last 9mo has been hell. Well the last few years has been hell too but it’s getting worse and worse. I can’t even distract myself with music and movies anymore. Going through lists of movies and it’s all “eh.”
I hate this. I hate my life. I hate that I hate everything and feel NO fucking joy in anything anymore. In the past, I’d at least enjoy SOME things like movies, music, food, a nice breeze, etc.
I’m so cursed. I can’t enjoy a fucking thing anymore. Everything is fucking misery. I hate where I am. I hate being stuck. I hate my fucking shitty ass family. I hate not being able to get out of this shithole.