this is going to sound really melodromatic but after thinking about what ive been thinking about
i think that i dont think i should be loved
i dont deserve people to care about me
most people i know are muslim and even then im a bad muslim too
i dont deserve people to care about me, i dont deserve to be religious, i dont deserve to be anything except on my own
i work hard and there are people who look up to me and i make it seem like my life is so easy and im happy and you know, one of them people who seem like nothing could ever go wrong for them.
but im not a good influence. i dont want people to look up to me and want to be like me. im a bad person. people shouldnt want to be like me.